I am feeling a little disturbed at the beginning of 2011. I am not sure whether "disturbed" is the proper word to be used here, I mean to say that I found my self thinking a lot about recent events. When something happened, I mean something out of norm happened in your life, you ought to think about it a lot dont you and thats how I'm feeling right now. But I cannot deny that it was a wonderful thing that happened to me. But then honestly I must say, I dont find this first day of new year interesting or worth celebrating at all. Conflict of interest much? Hurm..! I feel like it is just another day, except for the date. 010111. Cantik. But it still feel ordinary.. Nothing different, nothing special, nothing surprising. I read back happy-new-year-2010 and happy-new-year-2009 entries. I seem excited back then.
I have stopped making new year resolutions. As I have mentioned in my happy-new-year-2010 entry, it is pointless. I'm more towards NEW DAY RESOLUTION. Why do you have to wait one whole year to change something. You make plans and then life gets in the way, you got pissed and you give up. Then new year comes, the whole thing starts all over again. It doesnt make any sense.
My 2010 ended rather surprising. Unexpected, unplanned. Something new, totally new but I'd rather keep it to myself. And I don't even know what to feel, happy? sad? shocked? All I can say to myself is: Tabahlah wahai hati.. Tabahlah wahai hati.. Tabahlah wahai hati..But there is still that little teeny weeny of hope that someday things will turn out to be better.. Things will work out the way it's supposed to..At least, the way I want it.
Nevertheless, 2010 has taught me A LOT of things. And I mean it when I said A LOT. I've made mistakes, I've made the wrong decisions, I've fought, I've lost, I've given up, I've won but everything that happened helped me to look at life in a different way.. Happiness is something to be pursuited. To be given but not to be taken..Well, at least you cannot be expecting it. It comes from your own self and your own self only. It's like driving in a car on a familiar road to the usual destination.. You ought to know where the bumps and how the holes are like.. And to prevent crashes, you should know how to avoid it and when to steer...
I feel like my life is one journey with a mixture of familiar and new roads..I'm enjoying the rush of air and the serenity of view but I've also got to be aware and cautious most of the time. I'm pretty sure Mr. 2011 will bring me a lot of changes.. Better changes, I hope.
2011, SURPRISE ME.
12 months of Happiness,
52 weeks of Fun,
365 days Success,
8760 hours Good Health,
52600 minutes Good Luck,
3153600 seconds of Joy..