My eldest one today went to nap with his tears still a droplet at the corner of the eye. Resulted from a tantrum lasted around half an hour before he managed to fall asleep. This two --going on three year old boy threw a fit only because I wouldnt let him extend his screen time. It was supposed to be his nap time. He opted for youtube instead and promised me he wants only 10 seconds of it. I let him, which is probably a mistake (knowing that 10 secs is not enough). And after slowly counting to 10 seconds, I claimed what is rightfully due. I told him that his 10 secs is up. He doesnt take it well, obviously. He cried and cried and wouldnt let me console him in any other way , he even took off his pants & diapers probably to piss me off further. I told him to put it back on and after a few unsuccessful attempts, i got mad and walked away from the room carrying Maryam with me. Maybe I shouldve just put the diaper on him myself , but I wanted him to know what he did was wrong. and be responsible for it. (maybe it wasnt such a good idea to teach him responsibility -- wrong timing, wrong age?, idk)
But then, after a few minutes things have settle down, and seeing him asleep like this, still sobbing. I couldnt help but feel, what an awful, horrible mother i've been. It was so painful seeing him upset, and going to sleep maybe still upset over what has happened. But i did the right thing didnt I? no?
I have no idea what is right and what is wrong in parenting. Im still new to motherhood. But I know my son well , and I hope what I'm doing is right for him and his overall development. Praying hard. I couldve just let him get away with what he wanted and still be ok with it, but that will only make him a spoilt brat, and i dont want that. I would rather sacrifice my desire to spoil him (and maybe losing his preference over me?) and have a polished , good man as a son in the future. InsyaAllah.
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