Sunday, May 15, 2011

Booo, I see you

:: Start of entry meluat ::

Im starting to feel like being too transparent isnt a good thing at all. Even to someone close to you. By transparent here I mean, other people knows what you're thinking, they can read your emotion without you having to explain extensively. Whether you're down in the dumps or when you're on top of the world or whether you're deeply thinking about something. At first, I thought oh wow so amazing, someone understands me non-verbally, this way, i dont have to say anything and explain. Good thing, right?? So easy, because there's that silent understanding between the two people, and the quicker things can resolve.

But then, when it happens several times, i'm starting to feel annoyed. Why the hell am i that transparent?! I get angry at myself for letting other people know what I'm feeling. Am i really that honest, and that my every emotions show up on my face and even on my text messages? Sheeesh, man... Well, I guess it's a good thing>>> TO CERTAIN PEOPLE that is. if youre meant to hide certain emotion from certain people, this certainly isnt a good thing. trust me, when things like this happen, everything is revealed, eventually... which means youve failed to keep it hidden. that so called secret emotion or secret thought...Secrets exposed are not secrets anymore.

I feel like I have to take action from here, by that, I mean, probably to change a little of myself. Probably just a small part of me. Whether I like it or not... Of course, I dont mean to pretend , that's harsh. I'm very bad at pretending anyway, so why bother trying. So Ive made up my mind, I think I should keep meetings and conversations to the minimal.. That way, less of me is exposed. At least, I can try.

:: End of entry meluat ::

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